Franken-Simon!

Welcome to our house of horrors!

Be prepared for blood, gore, drama and panic! But you’ll have to wait, I’ve got some DIY news first.

I appreciate that it’s been a few months since my last blog and that your memories may be a little fuzzy. I left you with the knowledge that the roof tiles had been fixed in place and everything was watertight and battened down so we could tick that off of the enormous list that is Simon’s work schedule.

I really need to contact my union representative, because in the UK I clearly remember having two days off a week, but now I only appear to be eligible for one….

We had been mulling over what to do with the front garden and had decided that lots of plants in pots and the same gravel that was on the drive would be the least high maintenance. I had removed all the stones from the front garden that had originally made a spectacular weed bed and we thought that an olive tree would look good in its place. Cue Simon on the digger, and hey presto! We had an olive tree shaped hole.

 

Obviously, we hit a few stones on the way.

We needed a retaining wall around the tree so he knocked up a little log border.

Tree in position, it just needed backfilling now.

Another log border around the hibiscus trees and we were set to lay the gravel. I say we but really it was Simon and our neighbour’s son Romaine. My back didn’t really fancy shovelling granite stones off of the trailer, I have previously experienced this delight of a job, and cheerfully declined.

Gravel down, trellis fitted and the newly painted gates put back up and the front garden’s looking a whole lot better. I just have to scour some second-hand places now to find some old terracotta pots.

As you can appreciate, this was just an aside to the main job whizzing around in Simon’s brain.

Back to the main construction.

With the block work complete it was time to start cutting and fitting the floor joists.

Each one had to have a notch cut out of it so that they rested on top of the block work.

We were really cracking on with these, the supports in between are there to stop the joists moving or warping.

We had got to about halfway across the length of the extension when there was a slight accident.

 

Even now we can’t really work out how it happened.

The joists are quite thick, as you can see, and the power saw blade isn’t deep enough to cut all the way through, so Simon was using a hand saw to cut the final part of the notch out.

He had the joist he was cutting resting on the ones we had already fitted, made a forceful cut downwards into the joist, the blade slipped out of the cut and went down the length of his shin!

He yelled, grabbed his shin and fell to the floor. My reaction? I thought he was mucking about (he has a tendency for the dramatic).

But, upon closer examination, after looking under is blood soaked glove, I realised it was time to…..

He had cut through his shin down to the bone. There was too much blood and an Elastoplast was not going to fix this.

I grabbed him a tea towel to try and stop the bleeding and then ran down to the bar to try and get Thierry, our neighbour, to call the ambulance. No good, he wasn’t home.

I proceeded to run through the hamlet to the other end to Cecile’s house.

Actual footage.

Thank heavens Cecile was in, I managed to garble something about Simon, a leg and a saw and she ran back to the house with me.

With a Gallic cool, calm efficiency, she called the Pompiers (it’s the fire service in France that are the paramedics) and they arrived within 10 minutes.

 

For someone who’s just sliced his leg open, he’s very jovial.

 

They stretchered him off to our local hospital and within the hour I was picking him up outside.

Here’s a photo of the cut before stitches, if you’re squeamish maybe scroll past.

He managed to miss vital arteries and nerves, luckily, but it took 15 stitches to close him up.

 

Nice neat job, and a leg shave into the bargain.

In the meantime, Cecile had taken me to her house and made me some lunch. We are so grateful to her, for her help and kindness, she really is a lovely lady.

We can’t fail to mention the efficiency of the French emergency services and staff at the hospital either, they were absolutely first class.

By the way, we didn’t do any more DIY that day, despite Simon asking the surgeon, whilst sewing up his leg, when he could get back to work.

He was told to rest it, keep it elevated and stay off of it as much as possible for a week.

Do they know this man???

 

Yep, that went down like a lead balloon.

Just look at his face.

He wasn’t the happiest I’d ever seen him, but he did manage 24 whole hours without picking up any tools.

The day after his prolonged convalescence he decided that he could manage to do some light work and made me a new cold frame for the veggie seedlings.

 

He’s looking much happier.

Needless to say, he cracked on with what needed doing, really, it’s like trying to get a fish to stop swimming.

With the cold frame done and his leg on the mend Simon was intent upon getting back to work on the extension.

We had to get rid of the stone steps at the original back door first to allow the joists access.

Ironically, the rest of the house falls apart at the merest touch, not these steps though, they were firmly in place.

We finally got rid of them though and could carry on with the floor timbers.

Once we had got them in place, we had to put down some chipboard sheets as temporary flooring.

Deep in DIY thought.

Once this was complete, we were ready for the next lot of block work to be built.

Our neighbour Steve came over and they were done in a morning.

It was really starting to take shape now.

The next job was to clad the sides of the room with some wooden slats. But first we had to put some timbers into place to give them something to attach to.

The other side of the extension would be practically the same, apart from a window at the end.

With the sides complete, on the outside at least, we could start to do something with the rear wall.

This had obviously been the rear outside wall of the house, but was now going to be an internal wall.

We would have liked to have kept the stonework on show, but the previous owner had decided to point it up at some time in the past with cement, which looks hideous and is really difficult to get rid of, it sticks to the stone and despite Simon trying to grind it off, was still clinging on for dear life.

In the end, we decided that we would panel from floor to around halfway up. This would allow us to cover up all the pipe work and electrics that couldn’t be moved.

And I volunteered myself for the job of painting the top half with white masonry paint.

It took nearly two weeks, that’s all I’m saying about it.

Done!

In the meantime, Simon was busy making a new top step to the cellar stairs and putting in the rest of the windows.

 

No, it’s not some strange fancy dress costume, he’s going to strim the garden and it’s sunny.

He’s also welded and painted some metal brackets to attach to the rear wall to reinforce the roof.

We had to start thinking about lighting for the room as the electrics needed wiring in while we could still hide them.

Some strip lights in each bay would be covered with a wooden cloaking panel and give a nice downlighted effect onto the stone wall.

Simon then started laying the wires for the electrical plug sockets and light switches.

Then he could cover them up behind the panelling.

A new fuse box installed and fitted by Sparky Clements.

And the walls of the cellar staircase panelled.

We did have a rest one Saturday from indoor construction and instead corralled off the veg patch to stop the chickens from scratching the newly planted veggies.

Helping catch worms!

We also took delivery of 62 laurel bushes which we planted around the perimeter of the garden so we can grow a hedge. It takes quite a while to dig that many holes. Needless to say, the chooks were very happy as it was like a bug buffet.

But alas, we can’t spend all our time frolicking in the sunshine!

Back in the extension it was finally time to lose the original back door.

 

We didn’t want to block it off completely as it will make the living room very dark, so we fitted a window.

Now to fill in the walls with insulation.

I could also start painting the panelling its final colour.

And Simon could make the balustrade for the cellar stairs.

Steve had been and built us a gorgeous internal brick wall.

And finally, we could start thinking about laying the floor.

Simon laid insulation as he went along, laying the floorboards.

And I had finally finished painting the panelling and the steps up into the kitchen.

Watch out! He’s got a saw in hand!!

We laid a protective membrane over the floor as we completed one section because we still had to fit the plasterboard to the ceiling and walls and then paint it.

With the floor down we cracked on with insulating the ceiling.

Our least favourite job, plaster boarding, was looming. We gritted our teeth and set about starting the walls.

Just the ceiling to tackle now!

We borrowed an amazing contraption from our friends Steve and Jan, a plasterboard lifter. Without which, I think we would have been truly flummoxed. The ceiling at its highest point is 3.5 metres and despite being an Amazon, I don’t really think I would have been able to hold the panels for each bay in place whilst Simon screwed them in.

Simon drew a plan for each bay so we knew where the battens where, so he could screw the boards in the right place.

We measured and remeasured and the lifting began.

Easy as pie, until we needed to lift the panel above the cellar steps…

It’s a good job Simon is an inventive soul.

With all the panels in place, all that was needed was my handy paintbrush and the ladder.

The downlights that we had fitted to the rear wall were not the only lights we needed in the room. The dining room table and chairs were going in the middle of the room so we wanted a big light fitting to go above the table.

Amongst the detritus that we’d found when we moved in had been a massive lump of oak around 6 feet long. It must have originally been part of a staircase, eons ago. It was dirty, dusty and peppered with wood worm holes.

Out came the power tools and loads of dust.

Simon cut off the really gnarled bit of wood at the end with the chainsaw, attacked the wood worm bits with a grinder and then channelled out a centre piece for the electrical components.

Then he sanded it to make it smooth and oiled it to show off the grain in the wood.

Sparky at work!

We had a little trip out to get some supplies to add to the wood, just some ropes and chains!

And here we have it! A handmade, completely unique light!

We were nearly at the finish line, just the floor to oil and seal.

While Simon was doing the floor, I rummaged around in my sewing supplies and made a an ugly old 1970 Dralon monstrosity into something much more appealing.

I unpicked the original covers to use as a pattern.

Much more acceptable, and without the musty smell to boot.

Simon was going great guns with the floor.

He’s slightly delirious from the fumes, I think…

So, we’d done it. From the first week of March until yesterday, we had gone from this…

To this...

What a difference three and a half months can make!

All it’s waiting for now is the arrival family and friends, and of course, the pitter pat of furry little feet!

I’ll be back, with a pupper!