The Goat Escape

Good Evening, 

We have an animal themed tale to tell today.

I’d had a few suggestions for the title of this blog, The Sound of Music themed options were the most popular.

But, eventually, I decided that a more rip-roaring and macho effect was needed, to portray the hilarious calamity that was Sunday afternoon!

Let me set the scene.

Just a mile down the road from our sleepy hamlet is another similar rural idyll. We set off on our bikes as it was a glorious day, lock-down has been lifted slightly and so we thought a visit to some village friends, for an afternoon beer in the garden, would be perfect.  

We arrived at our good friends, Jan and Steve, with cold beers in a rucksack ready for a quiet afternoon. Little did we know that they had decided to add another couple of additions to their ever-growing menagerie. What a splendid idea!

They already have a flock of hens and their magnificent cockerel CJ.

They had also recently acquired the mischievous and aptly named Rogue.

Here he is, not looking remotely like he’s got chaos on his mind.

And, to complete their animal farm, on Saturday they were delivered of two 6-month-old nanny goats, named Rosemary and Thyme.

 

The picture of innocence.

Don’t be fooled, they’re cloven hooved, horned, devil-eyed little bundles of springy fun!

Jan and Steve had tried to peg them out in the field but they kept tangling their lead lines up so, whilst they were getting used to their surroundings, they put them back in their pen with plenty of food and water.

To let them have a little more freedom they were also allowed in with the chooks, they had a lovely time, jumping on the hen house and climbing all over the roof.

“Baby goats love climbing and jumping” I said. As a youngster we’d had several goats, so I had some experience of the little darlings.

“So, do you think they’ll jump that fence then?” asked Steve sceptically, peering over the top of his beer.

Cue a leaping goat, which cleared the metre-high fence no problem.

“Err, yeah….” I sniggered

Had you forgotten about Rogue, the 4-month-old pup?

Anarchy ensued…..

There he goes, shepherding instinct fully powered up…

Unfortunately, his self-restraint wasn’t quite at the same level…

If you will now use your imagination and have the Benny Hill soundtrack playing in your head as you view the rounding up process.

“Anyone got a lasso!?” yelled Steve wildly

 

“Someone catch that dog!”

Well Rosemary had other ideas, she wasn’t going to let a mere pup and two novice goat-herding men curtail her freedom! She made a leap, literally, for it and easily cleared a veg patch and the perimeter hedge.

Watching Steve run down the road wasn’t funny at all, and nobody laughed…

We managed to rein our mirth in long enough to catch Rosemary. Well that’s elaborating on the truth really. 

Thyme was bleating her little head off, calling her sister and what actually happened was Rosemary came trotting back up the road and came in the gate of her own accord.

So, we certainly showed them who was in charge.

Well ladies, it’s 23 hour bang up for you. On basic privileges until you can prove you won’t give us the run around, then maybe you can have visitation rights with the Billy up the road.

And here’s Rogue, tired out after a hard afternoon’s slog, shepherding like a professional.

Luckily, for Rosemary and Thyme, Steve had already confessed he wasn’t that partial to curry….

No animals were hurt during this episode. Only a small amount of dignity was lost.